There's a 9mm hole in my heart

"Wheelerguy" (wheelerguy) 09/25/2017 at 05:39 • Filed to: Dick I like it, medicalopnik

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Tell me: what would fill that void best? Not a dick, I hope.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 05:42

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90mm? that is a big hole.

are you sure you heard that correct?

sure it wasn’t 9mm?

Wheelerguy > pip bip - choose Corrour 09/25/2017 at 06:06

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It’s actually 0.9cm.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 06:07

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yep, 9mm not 90mm

90mm is 9cm which is 3 and a bit inches

S65 > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 06:30

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Anti tank round

Berang > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 07:02

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actually, a 90mm wide dick is exactly what doctors use to fill holes in hearts.

Tapas > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 07:17

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Some beef jerky would do the trick.

Or guanciale, if you want to be fancy.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 07:21

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SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 09/25/2017 at 08:15

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Damn extreme hole that. Bondi and flywire should fix it...

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 08:18

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90mm dick

Nibby > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 08:24

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An old friend convinced me
that he was underjoyed
He never caused friction
his ego he destroyed

He made a decision
He jumped into the void

Ssfancyfresh > pip bip - choose Corrour 09/25/2017 at 08:27

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9mm seems like it’s still a big goddam hole!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Ssfancyfresh 09/25/2017 at 08:29

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in fairness any hole in the heart isn’t good

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Ssfancyfresh 09/25/2017 at 09:03

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A Glock’ll fill that hole nicely. Or maybe it made the hole.

gawdzillla > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 09:19

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exhaust pipe, definitely exhaust pipe, 9mm or 90mm theres a place for it 

RutRut > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 09/25/2017 at 09:39

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Pshhh, silly plastic toys. 1911 master race.

Wheelerguy > gawdzillla 09/25/2017 at 09:54

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The last thing I need is a way to broadcast my heart murmurs.

Wheelerguy > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 09/25/2017 at 09:54

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That’s not really much of a dick though, is it?

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 09:55

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Subliminal tobacco ads?

Wheelerguy > S65 09/25/2017 at 09:55

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I tell you man: I will be as bulletproof as Malala Yousafzai. Just needs one well-placed shot to the heart and quick medical care...

Wheelerguy > Tapas 09/25/2017 at 09:55

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Guanciale? Never heard of that before.

Wheelerguy > Berang 09/25/2017 at 09:56

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With what? What do they fill hearts with?

Wheelerguy > RutRut 09/25/2017 at 10:01

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Five-Seven motherfucker.

Wait no I’m wrong. It should be SAA.

But I’m a different man, so really I’d pick from any one of these .

Tapas > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 10:19

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It’s pig cheeks/jowl?

www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/carbonara-em-guanciale-egg-and-pecorino-romano-em-51221420/

RutRut > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 10:51

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Only thing more expensive than a Five-Seven is buying the ammo to shoot the damned thing.

Wheelerguy > RutRut 09/25/2017 at 10:59

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Shame, then, because the P90 is an absolute utter ripper. If only it was chambered in 5.56 or 10mm...

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 11:29

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90mm diameter

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Wheelerguy 09/25/2017 at 14:47

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depends. was it a FMJ or Hollow point round that hit you?

Wheelerguy > TheD0k_2many toys 2little time 09/26/2017 at 01:48

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It’s congenital. Septum defect.

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Wheelerguy 09/26/2017 at 01:50

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organ transplant?

Im an organ donor so if someone takes me out when im on my bike hopefully they get some use out of my remains

Wheelerguy > TheD0k_2many toys 2little time 09/26/2017 at 01:53

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Lovely, thanks, but as it is I need a new cornea or at least some new glasses. My heart’s fine and in the end, it’s a lost cause. I’m a planned-obsolescence product since December 1997. 

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Wheelerguy 09/26/2017 at 02:53

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dang. my eyes are bad but contacts fixed them